Hey friends ❤
Ok so long story short.. during my first day of my project ”Crossing Finland” far up in the north I started running on the 27 of August, just as planned. During the first day I ran about 30k and what I didn’t know was that it was only going to be these 30k.
I want to let you know how it all felt before I began: I was invited to the Suunto headoffice in Helsinki (something to check from my bucket list for sure, insanely happy), went to a press meeting with Autismiliitto (the autistic society of Finland to whom I was raising funds while running) also in Helsinki, I was interviewed by magazines, radio etc.. I got gear from both Autismiliitto and Suunto and I had everything going just as planned. People was going to join parts of my adventure, I had already been invited to stop by people on the way to sleep .. well, you get it. It was going to be huge. I felt like the queen of the world, like I could really inspire people and make an impact in the subject of autism.
During the first day I went off with a good feeling both physically and mentally. Body felt great, back pack a bit heavy but I had to carry food for a couple of days forward and that didn’t bother me, I felt happy to finally set off on this big adventure – running down to Hanko.
I had a bit cloudy weather, windy but all good. (I like it rather cold then hot when out running like this.) Only asphalt but I’m used to that – so what’s up with this sudden strange feeling in my legs?
Suddenly this pain started to go up my legs from the wrists. A hot kind of pain deep inside the muscles. Never felt like this before so I knew something was wrong. This sudden pain going up my legs took some time to ”grow” but I stopped running when I first got this feeling and started walking instead. After about 27k I got so stiff I almost couldn’t move properly, I felt warm and weak.
Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to: the flue.
After this I laid in my tent with fever, swollen/sore throat and pain in my muscles now up in my back and neck. Couldn’t bend my back and still not walk properly due to the pain in my legs. It went on and I got worse. So after a couple of days of thinking and trying, I knew I had to quit.
”Mind over matter” is a good quote but not to use in moments like this. In this moment all I could think was ”better safe then sorry”.
Today, when I know how I felt and for how long I was going to be sick – I know even more that I made the right decision that day.
After a few days laying in my tent I traveled down south again to my realtives and waited there for a few more days before I could fly home (was too sick to fly). I only slept, couldn’t eat (throat was still swollen), cold, fever, pain plus a lot more.
It was tough to be honest with you guys. But when I left the north I decided that all the negative thoughts and crying over the situation could not follow me. I left my sadness and frustration when I left the north. I think that was the best way for me to move forward.
But honestly: it sucks 100% how it all went down but no matter what happens and how bad your body and mind communicate you got to stay safe. When out on adventures you always need to put your health first.
So I was back in Sweden in the very beginning of September and was still very sick for many weeks to come. Plus that my lilsis’ ended up on the hospital 3 days later so focus changed quickly. (If you’ve been following me on instagram you’ve probably noticed that my focus changed pretty fast. Thoughts needed to stay positive. Health and family first.)
It’s easy to be hard on yourself and feel like a looser but when you’ve done your best there’s really nothing else to it. I planned this adventure for about 1 year (when I got back from Iceland last year) and did all the planning that I’m used to.
Shit happens – you’ll never know. What’s more important is to not let these situations stop you. Never let the feeling of failure stop you. Struggles come and go.
Dust yourself off and keep going. : )